An Element’s Faithful One Hundred Percent

Here’s a letter to the editor that appeared in the print edition of the Times last week (10/6):

To the Editor:

I could not agree more with Ms. Brody’s exhortation to talk and read to young children all the time. It reminded me of the game that my husband, a chemistry professor, and I would play with our daughter when she was 2.

We would each hold one of her hands, and on every step we would lift her up and say one of the elements of the periodic table. By the time she was 4, she could recite the first 45 elements of the period table (up to Rhodium), on demand.

Susan Poser

Lincoln, Neb.

 

What a missed opportunity! I wish the Posers had been more ambitious with their daughter. Only 45 elements in two years? Listen to how the great Tom Lehrer set to the music of the great Gilbert & Sullivan (well, actually Sullivan) a song that teaches all of the elements in less than two minutes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmwlzwGMMwc

Imagine this poor four-year-old showing up at preschool and knowing only the first 45 elements. With the same effort, she could have learned the names of all the US presidents. Or all the amendments to the Constitution – more than twice over. Now those are games!

Or  the two-year-old Poser could have been taught games not so worthy of mentioning in a letter to the Times. But what would be the fun of that?

 

 

Travesty of Justice: Star Witness Dunst Dissed for Willowy-ness on Stand

Guilty of being blond!

Maybe I’m being too sensitive, but I’m detecting an inappropriate note of ridicule, if not derision, in this article in today’s print edition of the Times:

Kirsten Dunst, the willowy blond movie star, tiptoed through the door Thursday afternoon with a grin on her face. “Hi,” she said, peering toward the gallery as if addressing adoring fans waiting for an autograph. “How are you?” she asked the judge moments later.

“Willowy?” “Tiptoed?” Loaded words for the newspaper of record. If only more witnesses, much less talented and beautiful ones, were thoughtful enough to ask about the well-being of the judge.

She was in State Supreme Court in lower Manhattan testifying (or, as the article puts it, “making a cameo”) about being the victim of a burglary while making a movie in New York  a couple of years ago.

Full disclosure: Ms. Dunst once glared at me on Fifth Avenue, warning me not to recognize her. No, wait, that was Clare Danes. Never mind.

The article also has her “giggling,” “grinning,” and “thanking a court officer for bringing her a cup of water.” Not typical public behavior for a movie star. I think Ms. Dunst should be praised, not made fun of, for doing her duty as a citizen. And in such a positive and friendly frame of mind.

I’m sure Ms. Dunst had better things to do yesterday. After all, as the article goes on to say, she gets a $2,000 per diem in cash when she makes a movie. Do you have any idea how far that would have gone in Century 21, just blocks away?

You can read the full article by John Eligon here: http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/09/24/a-star-turn-in-a-manhattan-courtroom/?scp=2&sq=kirsten%20dunst&st=cse

… And Not a Drop to Breathe

Well, this article in today’s print edition of the Times got my attention:

Showers in New York carry a particularly high dose of a microbe related to tuberculosis called Mycobacterium avium. The bacterium and its close cousins can cause a variety of exotic chest complaints, including lifeguard’s lung, hot tub lung and Lady Windermere’s syndrome.

Just when I was starting to feel a little better about swine flu, I have to worry about getting Lady Windermere’s syndrome from my shower? (Remind me to look up Lady Windermere’s syndrome; I’d like to know who she was – and how she died.)

We’ve been told for years that New York’s drinking water is among the best and safest in the country. Footnote: oh, just one little thing – not so great to shower in.

But wait, let’s not panic here. The article continues:

Aside from the thought of being sprayed in the face by a bacterial cocktail every morning, the shower bacteria present no serious danger, with the possible exception of the M. avium. 

“No serious danger.” Except for the pesky M. avium. Causer of the dreaded (as of fifteen minutes ago) Lady Windermere’s syndrome. Whew.

The microbiologist Dr. Pace does provide some good news where you’d least expect it:

He has also been testing the air in the city’s subways. Apart from a lot of aerosolized iron particles, presumably ground off the track by the wheels, the subway air is remarkably fresh and like outdoor air… Another paradox of city life: it seems it is healthier to inhale the subway’s air than the shower’s mist.

What have we learned? Breathe deeply in the subways, but if you don’t want to end up like Lady Windermere, take the PATH and bathe in New Jersey.

One loose end: did Lord Windermere also succomb, and if not, why not? Where did he shower?

You can read the full article here:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/15/health/15shower.html?scp=1&sq=water%20shower%20new%20york%20city&st=cse

Froot Loops a Smart Choice? Check!

From today’s print edition of the Times:

“You’re rushing around, you’re trying to think about healthy eating for your kids and you have a choice between a doughnut and a cereal,” Dr. Kennedy said, evoking a hypothetical parent in the supermarket. “So Froot Loops is a better choice.”

So says Dr. Eileen T. Kennedy, president of the Smart Choices Board (paid for by food manufacturers) and also dean of the Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy at Tufts University. (I wonder what they’re serving in Tufts’ dining halls.)

That’s how she justifies including a “Safe Choices Program” check mark on packages not only of Froot Loops, but also of Fudgsicle bars and mayonnaise.

The logic is that since Froot Loops would be a better breakfast than a doughnut… check!

So I guess since a Fudgsicle would be a better breakfast than a tub of lard… check!

The article goes on to point out that a serving of Froot Loops contains 12 grams of sugar per serving, which is 41% of the product by weight.

Ten companies, including Kellogg’s, Kraft Foods and PepsiCo pay up to $100,000 a year to put Smart Choices checks on their products. 

What role does the government play in making sure consumers know what the smart choices are for their families? The FDA and the Department of Agriculture are monitoring the situation.

We’d better fix health care fast.

Read the full article by William Neuman here:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/05/business/05smart.html?hp

The Turns They Are A-Changin’

From today’s Times:

The next time you get lost on a drive through unfamiliar terrain, blame Bob Dylan. The singer-songwriter said on a recent broadcast of his radio show that he may lend his distinctively gravelly voice to a satellite navigation system for cars, Agence France-Presse reported.

Celebrity voices on GPS systems! A few years ago, a similar idea went horribly wrong when every NYC cab ride included a recorded reminder from celebs like Al Franken, Dick Clark and Elmo reminding us to take our personal property with us.

But this GPS thing could really work! Imagine the possibilities:

Joan Rivers: “Can we turn?”

Leonard Nimoy: “Turning left here would be illogical.”

Andy Rooney: “Ever wonder which way you should go here?”

Rush Limbaugh: “Go right. Go right. Go way, way to the right.”

Georges Seurat via Sondheim: “You’re always turning back too late…”

Any others?

Read the full article by Dave Itzkoff here:

http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/25/need-direction-home-ask-bob-dylan/?scp=2&sq=bob%20dylan&st=cse

Airlines Finding New Ways to Empty Our Pockets

From today’s Times:

“Under new F.A.A. regulations, you may not place anything in your seatback pockets,” [the flight attendant] announced as passengers boarded the regional jet. The only things that could be in the seatback pocket, she said, were “company-printed material,” like the in-flight magazine, the safety card and presumably the air-sickness bag. All “personal items” had to be stowed in the overhead bin or under the seat.”

Is the FAA is prohibiting us from putting our own magazines, water bottles – or anything else – in the seatback pocket?

If you watched the season’s first episode of MAD MEN, you saw what flying used to be – luxurious. Plus, there was the possibility of certain post-flight value-added services.

We thought it was bad when they stopped serving meals. Then when they stopped giving out peanuts. Then when they talked about charging for the restrooms. 

And, just for fun, sometimes you get trapped on the runway for hours without food or water.

But I don’t think anyone could have foreseen the day when sticking a copy of USA Today in your seat pocket could actually keep a plane from taking off:

Longstanding federal law says that a plane cannot leave the gate until a crew member verifies that each item of baggage is safely stowed in a suitable compartment, including the overhead bin, or under a passenger seat.

That regulation does not mention seatback pockets. However, a 51-page 2007 F.A.A. directive on cabin safety does address “proper stowage of carryon baggage” and says in part, “nothing can be stowed in the seat pockets except magazines and passenger information cards.”

If Don Draper’s still visiting London Fog in Baltimore, I bet he’s taking the train.

Here’s the full story by Joe Sharkey:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/25/business/25road.html?scp=1&sq=regional%20airlines&st=cse

Leave the Broiler On, Dave

From the Times:

“In our experience, this situation is highly unusual,” said Jill M. Saletta, a spokeswoman for Maytag. 

What’s so unusual? A guy in Brooklyn’s cellphone rings, and it turns his oven’s broiler on. High. Well, Maytag does call the model a Magic Chef.

Until this undocumented feature surfaced, you’d have to use the phone to call the Chinese restaurant around the corner, and they’d do the cooking and send it over. Now, if the Chinese place calls you, it can start cooking whatever’s in your oven. 

For me, that would be sweaters.

But imagine the possible benefits of previously unknown interactions among electronic devices:

• Your clock radio alarm could start the coffee maker
• The garage door opener could adjust the thermostat up or down, depending on whether you’re coming or going
• Turning on the DVD player could start nuking the popcorn in the microwave

Best of all – your cell phone could ring to warn you that your sweaters are broiling. And you thought the compass on your iPhone was hot.

Here’s the complete article by Jim Dwyer:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/23/nyregion/23about.html?ref=nyregion

Mutant Mice, Flies and Women Need Less Sleep

From “Mutation Tied to Need for Less Sleep is Discovered,” by Tara Parker-Pope in today’s print edition of the Times:

“Although the mutation has been identified in only two people, the power of the research stems from the fact that the shortened sleep effect was replicated in mouse and fruit-fly studies. As a result, the research now gives scientists a clearer sense of where to look for genetic traits linked to sleep patterns.”

Wow, these women get by on less sleep

One assumes that their sleeping is deep

Why should they sleep like mice

By some roll of the dice

While the rest of us have to count sheep?

Here’s the full article: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/14/health/research/14sleep.html?_r=1&hpw

Will genetics experiments help us to function well on less sleep? More importantly, feel free to post your sleep-related limerick under comments. You know you want to…

“Mona Lisa Attacked with Teacup”

The headline in the print edition of today’s Times is pretty hard to beat: “Mona Lisa Attacked with Teacup,” by Nadim Audi.

The woman was taken to the police psychiatric infirmary. “She was clearly deranged,” a police spokesman said.

This story (http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/11/mona-lisa-attacked-with-teacup/?scp=1&sq=mona%20lisa&st=cse) begs a few questions:

1. Did the police spokesman exaggerate, or was the teacup thrower really as mad as a hatter?

2. Did security at the Louvre spot the teacup in the woman’s purse and wave her through?

3. Will new security guidelines prohibit teacups in the museum’s galleries, and will US galleries now be on the alert for copycat teacup tossers?

4. Will the article’s description of the perpetrator as “an angry Russian woman” lead to profiling, and would that be a wise precaution or a travesty?

5. From what distance did the woman successfully target the tiny painting, and could she be of any use to the Mets?

When Liquor as a Sales Tool for Mad Men Went Up in Smoke…

… and smoking went down the drain.

“Those years, for lunch, they used to drink three martinis. Then they’d come back before dinner for rusty nails, white spiders.”

Today’s Times’ article by Robert Simonson (“Sixties Accuracy In Every Sip”) uses a hook to MAD MEN to discuss the once-common three-martini lunch.

Fast forward a couple of decades. I came into the business world just as the Don Drapers were about to be put out to pasture.

I was the gatekeeper for sales guys who wanted my company to buy their advertising space and time, and I got taken to some great lunches in some of New York’s nicest places. I remember noticing how these guys’ man-in-the-gray-flannel-suit personalities shifted after a few drinks. 

I was even more interested to observe our company’s own veteran sales guys. They had been selling for longer than I had been alive. They didn’t have MAD MEN’s office bars, but they smoked cigars in the office, and they had the demeanor I associated with the bearish old reporters chewing the fat in dark, smoke-filled hotel bars during presidential campaigns.

We knew that these guys were about to become extinct, and they knew it too. The term “politically correct” hadn’t been invented yet, but the concept was taking root. Their style of “business entertainment” didn’t die because of money – there was plenty of that. Maybe it didn’t mesh with the image that corporations wanted to project. Maybe it was because more women were in higher positions, Maybe it was just the ebb and flow of things that inevitably leads to “out with the old, in with the new.”

MAD MEN makes that world look glamorous and indicative of success. But by the time the mad men were getting ready to walk out the revolving doors for the last time, it just looked sad.

Read the full article at: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/12/dining/12don.html?_r=1&hpw

What have we lost from the days of MAD MEN? Why do we feel so nostalgic as we cringe?